I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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