fuck your aforementioned shoe
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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