Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize