Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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