no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
