Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
ugly people sure do ruin things
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
