She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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