Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
