If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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