So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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