Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
did i walk over a car last night?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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