I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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