I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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