meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
