I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
do herpes really smell.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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