u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
