She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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