KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize