No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
