May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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