i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
