i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
this boner is exhausting
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
