Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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