All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
