I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
