While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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