Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
