How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize