yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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