; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
just found out that she named her cat after me.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
