If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
