Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
