Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
