it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
