I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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