She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
