I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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