How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
