I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
