i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize