did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
