i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
