your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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