also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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