His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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