Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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