Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
