Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
last night I used snow as a chaser
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
