I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Come see our sink grown plant.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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