Those balls look pretty dangerous.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
