so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
