Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
