Pappa wants mamma naked
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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