The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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