drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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