I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Randomize
