I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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