Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
